How Many Licks

Junior lollipops are over-rated. Get the good mass-produced Seniors, the kind that comes in many different flavors, because if they were lucky enough to make one fucking good one, (the “fucking” was added for emphasis), then the 10th might be as good if not more. Keep the hits coming.

In dedication to the hits, the following most Internet-searched words of the day are to be used & abused: crocodile needlefish, intellectual ventures, crystal rock, act test, billionaires for wealth care, lugubrious, & act tips.

Crocodile needlefish! What the hell’s in this crystal rock? Intellectual ventures? Just watch the lugubrious billionaires for wealth care take act tests for act tips.

Stock act tip: Lugubrious crocodile needlefish frozen in crystal rock is the new intellectual venture designed for billionaires for wealth care (principally for those who took the act test.

Billionaires for wealth care made act tips and bought crystal rock for enemas. The crocodile needlefish was just not cutting the act test. Lugubrious, it engages in intellectual ventures.

Crystal rock crocodile needlefish are for the billionaires for wealth care. Take this act tip now & boost their lugubriousness into recycled intellectual ventures for the unwitting of tomorrow.

Lugubrious billionaires for wealth care buy crystal rock. Like crocodile needle fish, they pass act tests. These kinds of act tips are no good for intellectual ventures. Stop the fleecing.

Act test, so behave. No act tips. Pure intellectual ventures are in demand. Do not become lugubrious like billionaires for wealth care on crystal rock or crocodile needlefish.

In Crystal Rock City, the lugubrious is worth intellectual ventures for those billionaires for wealth care. Act tips & act tests are abundant in supply due to crocodile needlefish swimming up urethras.

Intellectual ventures behave like act tips that passed the act test. Neither crocodile needlefish, nor crystal rock will provide substitute. There is no just thing as lugubrious billionaires for wealth care. Or is there?

One idea, two words: Google Bombing.

Fair Thee Well, Arms

Sometimes when i stretch my arms towards the sky, something i do naturally because the stretch feels good, i get scared that i'd set off my superhuman abilities & accidentally fly straight through the ceiling, crashing through the stories above me & up into the atmosphere. If i'm lucky, i'd be first classified as a U.F.O. then later denied & re-categorized as a human shaped helium-filled condom. If i get luckier, the U.S. Air Force will think i'm dangerous & try to shoot me down. But this is all unlikely. If anything my superhuman abilities will get bored going up, up & away, and i mostly fear that they'd shut off & let me free fall until i'm this close <------------> to becoming one, mind, body & spirit, with the ground.

Another related fear is due to the possibility that when i stretch, the stretch keeps stretching & my arms keep going, ripping on & off of my body. My arms have a mind of their own, and the trouble they'd get into worries me because my arms have fingerprints – a representation or summarization of who i am. Just as the police ask the police. Who knows the dirty, slimy, gritty things my arms & hands will touch once they're on their own.

Another fear i get when i stretch my arms is that i'll stay stuck in stretch. Then i'd have to comb my hair, drive, introduce myself & eat with my penis' hands. Yep, my penis is so big it has its own hands. i'd also have to stump my legs just to get through doors & into elevators. The police would think i'm admitting guilt by sticking my hands up without being told to do so, kind of like pulling over before a cop has had the chance to turn on his party lights & siren. Strangers would think i'm excited to see them, and freak when i don't hug back. Lecturers would get annoyed, rollercoaster rides would be denied and running would be an almost impossibility. At least my armpits wouldn't stink as much.